A BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Cute, bubbly and beautiful-This is how I know my sister. When she was around 3 years old, she joined this contest for Little Ms. Danipas (A search for the cutest and the smartest child in our barrio).  She bagged the 3^rd runner up. We were nurtured by our parents with a happy-environment.  She grew up like any other ordinary children.

                As we grew older, things changed.  Time came that we studied in the same university. I encouraged her to get into this school and have scholarship because of the financial problems we have had.  Together with my other sister, we stayed in one house near the school. I know that it wasn’t easy for her to adjust in her studies.  When I graduated, only the two of them were left. I admit that I wasn’t able to guide them well. I had shown to them a “superior attitude”. I wasn’t the kind of “ Kuya” they expect. Most of the time, I was so cruel and so strict to them. I even have not remembered helping them in their school academic lessons when I was still with them. I know that there were times that they suffered in their studies even if I send them the allowance from my salary. I knew that they were longing for a brother, who will be with them in the most difficult times.

                There was one time that she called me up and told me that she wanted to stop studying. There is one more year before her graduation. So, I got very mad and insisted to pursue the course. When graduation day came, as she received the diploma, she was so happy. While going down the stage, she saw me waving to her. I came near and gave her a hug. She was teary-eye while one of her professors, congratulated her of the success. I knew that she had realized the value of education in life.

                Challenges were on our way as she was on her search for a job. We had some fights with her with regard to my contradiction to her gang. I believed that she finds comfort and worth with their company. So, I encouraged her to join the same community I have. I was so thankful for our relationship as a brother and sister has been growing.  Now, that we are far from each other. There were moments that I still feel the guilt. I always have wished to be with them to cope up from my mistakes.  
               

                I pray on your birthday that may you truly find the joy.  As your elder brother, I am always hoping for the best of your life. I know that, someday, you will be surprised of God’s plan in your life.  Just keep your faith on Him for in the right time, He will bless you abundantly. Though we are away from each other, you will always be here in my mind and heart.  I LOVE YOU MY DEAREST SISTER.

STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN…

Weather changes; leaves falling from its branches; friends come and go; but time keeps on counting into second, minute, hour and day … Sometimes, we feel that time moves too slowly or too fast. But, actually, a second remains a second.  Nothing has changed.  It is just how we see things and everything around us that makes us feel this way.

Our perception has a big part on what we had become in the past and what it will make us in the future.  The way we perceive at present has a great say on if you want that history be repeated or choose to make a change for something you hope to be in the future.

Whatever life’s happenings we have had before, our present always defines our lives.  But, with the question on  who has the final say on what best defines each of our lives, I believe that it is only God, who knows the best for us.  That is why listening to what He wants us to decide is very essential and yet ignored by most of the time.

Listening is more than a skill to be learned, it is a GIFT to EVERYONE to be treasured. At all times, He has always made ways for us to listen. He speaks to us in so many situations in our lives, may it be through all the people around us or in the experiences we faced, good or bad.

            So, how do we listen? We listen to Him by seeking His will, especially, at the times when we are confronted in quite moments.  It is in silence that we are confronted with the truth. That truth determines His will. It’s either that message we deny or accept wholeheartedly, even if it hurts or it does not fulfill our heart’s desire. I once asked a priest on how we know that a decision is on God’s will. He answered that when that decision you need to stand, is not your will. Mostly of us, pray for only our will but not really God’s will.  We equate our heart’s desire to our own will. But God always know our heart’s desires.  It may not be our will which will be done but there must be a greater reason why. Surely, it is always for the best. That makes it noble to listen, in our hearts, to our Lord’s will.

            One day will come that we will just be amazed of what it will reveal to our lives by listening to His voice.  We will come to realize that there are no certain in this world except God’s promise to all of us. And that He will always be with us whatever happens. We just have to learn on how to listen with a sincere heart to whatever calling He wants us to listen. For this moment, let us take time to STOP and reflect on how the Lord has blessed us with a bountiful life or on how He saved us from total darkness. Then, LOOK at the positive side of life at all times. Be joyful as we face the challenges encountered at present. But never ever forget to LISTEN to His will before making a stand or decision in life. For it is in listening that God’s plan for our lives will be fulfilled.

" A Taste of Heaven"

(A personal experience during the Garage Sale For A Cause- Be A Champion for Baby Chino”)

It was one of the most joyful moments I have experienced in my life. While saying a thanksgiving prayer, I just can’t help but cry. I knew it is more than tears of joy.  I would say that I had “a taste of heaven”. That blissful day I am referring to, is the “Garage Sale for A Cause- Be A Champion For Baby Chino” which happened last December.

It all started with the great desire of the SFC Social Ministry Head to extend a help the child for his heart operation. His parents are both missionaries of Couples for Christ in the Philippines. We have gathered boxes of unused clothing, anything that can still be used. We have set a target amount to raise the fund. Since it was the first time to have the garage sale, we met challenges on the process of the planning. Though there were much oppression from the other side, with God’s grace and enlightenment, we were able to manage and execute the plans well.

What and how it happened was just so surprising.  We did not expect that the amount raised exceeded to what we expect. I have realized that it gave the people the opportunity to practice generosity. Somehow, it became an instrument to do an act of charity. We extend our warmest thanks to the community for supporting the program. With my co service team, we have appreciated more the beauty of service. I knew that it was also a memorable experience in your lives. My heartfelt thanks for the heart of service you have shown. Be grateful for being given the privilege to help other people through your time and effort. Most importantly, to all of those who willingly donated their “wealth and possessions”.  For without your benevolent heart to help the child, we could not have experienced a foretaste of heaven, no matter how small the help given. What matters most, is the act of kindness that will always be treasured in our hearts. Indeed, you are Baby Chino’s Champions!

To Baby Chino, who in one way or another, touched everyone’s heart and opened the door for us to feel the real joy of helping, thank you so much. To our Almighty Father, who always provides, all these things are done for your greater glory. We praise you for all the wonderful people we have met in our journey. I hope and pray that we may not forget the essence of sharing and giving in our everyday living.

 

FACING THE MUSIC…

FACING THE MUSIC…

Each has its own music to face.  The music I refer to is the challenge that we face in our lives. Have you ever felt you are worthless, empty, or tired of life? Did you feel like giving up?

Most of us are still dreaming of the past. We wanted to go back and wished for living that old life meaningfully. And because it is impossible to do so, we ended up blaming ourselves and tend to forget that there is more to life which our naked eyes can’t see.  Many of us are already at the peak of our success. Yet, when alone and when silence speaks to us, we felt so hollow. We ignored when loneliness confronts us. There is a longing for a real joy besides the outstanding accomplishments we have reached. While many dying people are hoping to live longer on earth, many of us are depressed in living life. After choosing a thing which we think can give us worldly pleasure, it turned out suffering the consequences of such decision. What makes it more miserable is, when we fail to recognize that there is a God who is always there for us, like a father, who comforts us whenever our souls are down and weary.

We have to accept the truth that we are hungry of God. We need to nourish the spirit with the very act of goodness that He implanted on the deepest of our hearts and souls. Living in this temporary world is a great mystery to be unfolded. These challenges we encounter will ultimately reveal the very purpose and reason for living. The moment we learn to make God the center of our lives, then, we can start to appreciate the beauty of life.  He knows, since conception, on what we will be going through. Cast away the fears and worries when we trust our God.

Every second of our lives counts. Whatever we feel and like to do and in our lives matter most.  Let the music be played on how much willing we are on letting our God rule our lives. At the end of day, after letting go of the nightmares and facing the music, we can still say, “Thanks for the music!”

STAYING AWAKE!

                “LIVE LIFE AS IF IT IS THE FIRST AND LAST…”

THIS LINE HAS A GREAT IMPACT ON ME DURING THE SERMON OF A PRIEST AT THE HOLY MASS.  AT FIRST, I WAS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY OWN FEELINGS. I FELT THAT THERE WAS A BATTLE INSIDE ME. THE MESSAGE BECAME CLEARER WHEN WE WERE ASKED TO ANSWER IF WE ARE READY, AT ANY TIME, TO DIE.  FOR SO MANY TIMES I HAVE ENJOYED SO MUCH FREEDOM, EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF BECOMING LOST. 

I TRIED TO RECALL THE SO MANY BLESSINGS THAT LIFE HAS OFFERED ME. IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT THOSE WERE ABUNDANT BLESSINGS. THOUGH, THERE WERE TOUGH PROBLEMS, I AM STILL SO MUCH GRATEFUL FOR THE SO MANY CHANCES HE HAS GIVEN ME.  THERE WERE DISCONTENTMENT ALONG THE WAY. YET, HE HAS MADE WAYS THAT LEAD TO A SIMPLER LIFE, A LIFE WHERE PEACE REIGNS.

WHEN TIME TESTS ONE’S PATIENCE IN WAITING FOR SOMETHING, THERE MUST BE GREATER PURPOSES WHY IT HAPPENS. THIS IS A REALITY THAT EVERYONE HAS TO UNDERSTAND. WHILE LIVING HERE ON EARTH, WE HAVE TO LIVE TO THE FULLEST THE VERY PURPOSE OF OUR EXISTENCE.  WE ARE CALLED TO GIVE THE BEST OF THE TALENT, TIME AND TREASURE WE POSSES.

LET THAT FREEWILL BE USED TO WHAT GOD WANTS YOUR LIFE TO HAPPEN. IF WE CHOOSE TO FOLLOW A PATH WORTH OF LIVING, THEN, WAITING IS SATISFYING AND FULFILLING.  HE JUST WANTS US TO BE AT ALL TIMES AWAKE FOR AT ANY TIME, OUR LIFE ENDS.  THEN, WITH ALL HUMILITY, READY TO STAND FACE TO FACE OUR GOD.

Unquestionable Faith

                Believing isn’t only about what one personally desires. But, in the pureness of one’s heart, a miracle will happen. No matter how uncertain things are. Full blessings are stopped because we have reservations. When we believe, we come to trust to our Lord fully.

While I was inside the church, a little boy was praying intently. He knelt down and closed his eyes, as if he is seriously talking to God. Then, he tried reaching out the cross. The faith showed by of a 4-year old child has a simple message yet touching. It has moved my heart into a prayer,

“Lord, let my faith be like of this child.

With your grace, enlighten me at all times to deepen my faith to you.

Make use of me to be a blessing to others in their faith to you.”

Jesus’ presence is never gone. He is just right there in our hearts. He challenges us to live out the faith even in nothingness. With firmer faith, we become a reflection of Jesus to others and God’s glory shines within us.

Faith in Nothingness

                    

“Because thou hast seen me, Thomas, thou hast believed “happy those not having seen, and having believed….”. These two completely different things reminded me of my personal experience. I was raised up believing that Christ is our savior and that He is our Lord and God. With that faith, I have always been hoping that one day, when judgment comes, there is Jesus who will save me from eternal death. But life’s journey is filled everyday with different lessons to learn. I admit that with my faith, there were moments when time has tested and challenged me. I have realized that even if I believe on Him, I was not consistent in living up that faith.  In some point of my life, I became like Thomas, who only believed after seeing.

I have made such a terrible mistake. I had that fear to face the consequences. I worried too much of my future. During that miserable time, I had an idea of taking my own life. I was hopeless. At the same time, I lost the trust to ask for someone’s advice. I kept it by myself until I reached the point where I just knelt down and called on Jesus. The only last hope that I felt His very presence. I cried out to Him all my remorse and asked for mercy to forgive me. There was relief and hope began to spark in me. From that day on, I started believing that He is just there beside me. It was not easy to move on. All I knew was to entrust everything to Him and completely surrender whatever is in my mind and in my heart.  Both good and bad memories kept flashing on my mind. Within that great dilemma, I felt that the saddest moment in my life was when I fall into sin. As I continue with this battle, I rededicate myself as to restore the broken relationship with Him. As His follower, I have to regain the strength of my spirituality. I asked to help purify the inner desires of my heart and mind.

The appearance of Jesus to Thomas might not happen again. I wholeheartedly believe that our Lord God has lived with us in spirit in the presence of the people around us.  He is right there in our very heart and soul just waiting for us to recognize His greatness. If ever time will test us again, one truth remains and that is God has never given up on us. He will chase on us whenever we depart from Him. I affirmed His generosity to us as he has always been a Father to me. That unconditional love that He wants me to savor until my last breathe is incomparable. No one can tell when each of us dies. Life is uncertain. But no matter how vague my future will be, He will remain our only Lord who deserves praises and thanks. For without Him, I can’t imagine where I am now.

That scene when Thomas touched Jesus’ wounds won’t happen anymore. The very pain and sufferings we carry in everyday of our lives are just the ways that will let us recognize that we suffer with Him. We are called to bear each of our cross and overcome the tribulations with His grace. Deeply in my heart, I believe that with those experiences, it has somehow awakened me and made me dependent on the Lord in all my ways. For in the most difficult situations in my life, I was taught to be with our Lord.

In His time, these will be replaced with eternal joy as He promised. I remembered the poem, Desiderata of Happiness, which says….

“After all the shams, drudgery and broken dreams, life is beautiful, strive to be happy…”

Just learn to believe…and see the beauty of it amidst the nothingness… For God, our Lord will be there for us now and forever…

               

L O S T and FOUND

“We are given the complete freedom by God that we tend to forget the responsibilities attached on it and oftentimes going beyond the limits of our boundaries…”

If many things in life cannot be explained, it’s also tantamount to say that there are many things that can be explained especially any number of circumstances under our control.

Like any other young men and women, I am one of those who have so many “Why?” questions. I always wonder “Why did it happen?” I grew up from a place we called a “barrio”. Life was so simple by then. At the moment I graduated my baccalaureate degree, I luckily landed on a job in the city. Having been working alone and far from my family, my life was exhausting yet rewarding. I underwent so many challenges that test my character. It is a fact that the young today are prone to temptations. Sometimes, it cannot be denied that the person whom you considered as your friend can also be the very person who can make you life miserable. I would say that life in the city is entirely different from the life in the barrio I have been longing for. Mostly, I felt that everything seems to be too complex to understand. I struggled not only to the lifestyle but also to myself as to go with them or not.

          Not until I was invited by someone from Couples For Christ to attend the Christian Life Program (CLP) for all interested singles to become a member of the Singles For Christ (SFC). Of the twelve talks or lectures I had attended, Talk 9, is the most memorable one. We confessed our sins to the priest beforehand. I actually cannot fully describe that feeling. My pasts kept flashing on my mind and so with the pains I experienced made me cry so hard. After an hour of reflecting, I felt God’s presence through the Holy Spirit. I felt so light. When I was asked to give a testimony, I said “I am Nino, a name which means “child”. A child who was once lost but now found…”

          For me, since that day was my birthday that was the greatest gift I ever had in my life. He has given me more than what I expect for. I received a priceless gift I would treasure forever. During the Dedication Rites, I was able to express my heartfelt gratitude to God Almighty through a letter…

May 3, 2008

Dearest God,

                        For quite long years, you have been so generous to me throughout my life. You have entrusted me with the gift of life. You have endowed me great talents and skills. You have blessed me with the abundance of love and care through my family and friends.

                        With the insurmountable problems I met on my way, I became so weak and enslaved by sins. Oftentimes, I doubted your mercy and power over the dilemmas I encountered. But still, you did not forsake me because you knew that deep inside me, I struggled to fight evil. And you learned that I have even a little courage to face my fear of renewal.

                        Thank you for your instrument of peace, to the Singles For Christ. You helped me look for the answer in my search for inner peace. Truly, you taught me to do better things today for me to be the best person in the future.

                        You said that everything on earth has its own time and season. Now is the time that I am awakened from a deep sleep of my faith to you. This is the season of diversion from evil to goodness. This is a perfect time to bury the mistakes of the past, to cultivate my broken relationship at present, and to persevere up to the harvest time of the gift of eternal life.

                        I know that to follow your path is not easy. Within my journey, it is essential for me to change for the better. As I embraced the call for transformation, I came to realize that change per se is not the key in my pursuit to happiness; it is a basic necessity to unlock myself from being slave of evil. To effect a change in me does not happen in just a blink of an eye but rather it requires patience and strong will every now and then to persevere until the end. I need to be faithful and to be righteous at all times. I have to see life in a positive way and to live with it to the fullest.

                        I believe that man by nature is good. Thus, I commit myself towards constant renewal, to live up the truest essence of a Christ-centered life, to serve as the salt to those who perceive life as bitter, to be the light to those who are trapped in darkness, and to be a person with great contributions to society worthy of emulations.

                        At last, I am now free! Set free me from nonsense worries and materialistic world. I have now the freedom to do good things daily. It is with my fervent hope, which you may always guide and live with me in my quest. I surrender everything in your name.

                        Since I have found a new home, a new family, the Singles For Christ, I have nothing to ask anymore. Since I was born with your will, I will also die in my service with YOU. Amen.

                                                                                                            Your son,

                                                                                                            Nino S. Ruiz

                                                                                                            SFC, Batch 160

From that day on, my  life's perception changed. I remember a saying that says “Evil will only triumph if good men will do nothing.”

UNDYING FAITH

                God knows the state of one’s heart. He sees if one truly believes in Him. I remember surviving the most terrible situation I've been in. I had a great fear of the consequences of the wrong choices I made. Feeling hopeless, I called on Jesus. His divine presence I felt, was my only hope. I cried out to Him all my remorse and asked for forgiveness. Since then, I stopped fearing and started trusting Christ.

                Very often, our faith is like that of Thomas. We tend to give up on ourselves and our faith when challenges come. We become desperate with these uncomfortable feelings. We are getting used to having a “God of Comfort”. We doubt when we start to experience difficulties. However, the appearance of Jesus to Thomas is a great affirmation that the Lord always makes a way to deepen our faith in Him. He pursues us and never gives up on us whatever situation we’re in. He draws us near to Him and holds on to us. He embraces us lovingly.

When we believe, we come to trust our Lord fully. Indeed, miracles happen to those who faithfully believe, even in the midst of nothingness.

                                                                                                                                                                  

SURVIVING!

When facing with confusions and crises

We try to hold on unto many things

We embrace music to give us comfort

We talk to our dear friends to ask advice

We watch inspirational movie to gain insights to live by

But when I pondered I found out

When we try to embrace God in our lives

There is more than what eyes can’t see

He’s more than a melody or music to hear

He provides us peace of mind, serenity in one’s heart

He’s more than a friend or loyal companion

He offered His life and never turns us down

He’s more than a great movie story

He changes our lives

With his own life story, of sacrifices and triumphs over death

That’s the way of life

To follow his way isn’t easy

But a satisfying and fulfilling life waits

Not temporary, not here on earth.

A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE

Silence speaks louder in the midst of trials

An inner voice struggling to be heard

A heavy downpour of the rain every now and then

Becomes usual in extra ordinary ways

In this world full of hypocrites

The best armor that can defend us is faith

Faith constitutes virtues to live by

The only weapon that no one can defeat

Man by nature is good

A manifestation that anyone deserves forgiveness

The best way to revenge is to be kind to the unkind

Listen to your will

Yet, follow God’s will

It’s better to lose something than becoming cruel for your own sake

Behold and stand still

Continue to face the obstacles

 Life doesn’t stop here

The story has not yet ended

It has just started

BETWEEN DAY AND NIGHT

In these solitary moments

A great dilemma hiding within me

A sad reality struggling to escape

Darkness wrapping my inner self and soul

Deep inside the wounds hurt

No exact words, No clear pictures

No definite feelings can describe it

No concise meaning can define my present situation

Everything seems to be so fast

I can’t even remember

How everything started

Why it reached to this point of my life

I wanted to cry

But my eyes can’t fall a tear for all the humiliations

I wanted to shout

But my conscience can’t even whisper the blame to my foes

I wanted to die

But I can’t imagine leaving my family

To see them mourn over my dead body

“So help me God,” I beg

Comfort me in this complex word

My truest confidant in this complicated chapter of my life

My only shoulder to lean on during this hardship I encounter

Unburden me with the load of sacrifices

Let me rest for a while

Bring me in the most quite place

Away from my worldly fellows

Heal the wounds I suffer

But leave the scar as to remind me

To be always humble

Let me surrender everything in your name

Provide me to the wisdom o conquer evil

Give me the strength to carry on heavy loads

Let me feel the hope in my heart amidst darkness

Embrace me with your boundless love and care

Walk with me as I move on in moments I feel weak

Posses me with your Holy Spirit

 In this turning point of my life, make me whole again from being broken, Amen.

i am...

i am…

A masterpiece of God

Woven by his hands, my truest being be revealed

In accordance to his will and plan

A child by nature

Molded with utmost care by my beloved ones

Secured by guidance and protection

A young explorer of life

Unfolding the mysteries ahead

Discovers strengths and weaknesses

A traveler

Grows with experiences, becomes stronger in failures

Faces consequences courageously

 Never gives up easily

                                                                             A small voice         

One of the millions who are discontented

Dreaming the impossible and unnecessary

A speck of sand

Too small to be recognized

Indeed, I have nothing to boast for

A complete stranger of today

Journeys the path of uncertainties

Builds memorable relationships

A living witness of the past

Absorber of the lessons of history

Living with the learning of yesterday

A legacy of the future

A promising individual of tomorrow

My name may fade when death comes

But my deeds forever be treasured

In their memories…. in their hearts